Resolutions check
1. The art of goal setting
Psychologists have proven that the majority of New Year's resolutions fail because they are nonspecific and unrealistic. If one of your resolutions this year is ‘getting rich’, ‘being healthy’ or ‘losing weight’ you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s not to say you can’t achieve it, but realise your goals need reframing. If you’re after money this year, be clear on how much you want and how you are going to make it. The same goes for losing weight or getting fit - the more specific you are about your desired outcomes and your strategy, the better.
Think about how much time you need to achieve each goal and how many days a week you can comfortably commit to. When we set resolutions, it’s easy to forget that we feel different every day and that some days will be harder than others. Life throws challenges at us and promising ourselves to eat healthily and exercise every day is not realistic. If you’re looking to make long-term changes, your new routine has to fit in well with your everyday life.
Motivation lies behind the success of any goal setting and, for most of us, this is the major obstacle. Set yourself up for success by contemplating why you want to change anything in the first place and then imagine your life as if it has already happened. Be sure to remember it whenever you’re about to eat another cake or skip the run.
2. Choose your buddy wisely
The best way to keep up with your resolution is to find a buddy who is on the same journey. But before you pick the first person that comes to mind, think about whether he or she is motivated enough to keep you accountable. You need somebody who can inspire you and who understands what you’re going through. If you’re committed to making big changes in your life, you need your social circle to support you along the way. Choose your crowd wisely - with the right people around you, you will feel constantly inspired and motivated to succeed.
3. Enjoy the ride
As a society, we always strive for better, often forgetting that what we already have is likely good enough. We focus too much on the end goal instead of enjoying the process. You might have got caught up in it when thinking ‘I will be happy when I make £1,000,000’ or ‘I will be happy when I lose 10 kg’. It may seem you will be happier with less weight and more money, but it’s elusive. We want more and more all the time, so your goals will keep changing and therefore you may never be fully satisfied. It is refreshing to accept that you might not necessarily achieve your end goal, but as long as working towards it makes you feel good, you’re on the right path. Perhaps what’s more significant than the achievement of your goals is getting good at, and enjoying, working towards them.
As much as it is useful to set an end goal and to see the bigger picture, it is worth setting your milestones along the way. Losing weight and becoming rich in a year is a significant challenge, so before you get discouraged by it, be sure to celebrate your successes along the way. Research shows that getting immediate rewards can help us stay motivated long-term, so make it fun and allow yourself to enjoy the process.
4. Self-compassion and kindness
It’s natural to want to progress and make positive changes in life, but let’s not try to fix everything at once. We tend to be more critical and judgmental towards ourselves than we are towards the others. Our self-criticism is often a habit and therefore hard to break. Notice the language you’re using towards yourself and actively try to change it to more supportive, encouraging and loving. Especially when things don’t go as you planned, be gentle to yourself and acknowledge it’s okay to be imperfect (to be human). When you act with kindness and self-compassion, you boost your self-confidence and get closer to your full potential. On the way there, you might even realise that you don’t need to change anything and will allow yourself to be happy just as you are.